The dead pool
Whose humans get automated next? Anonymous voting, one vote per company per day. The notes are the editor's, the votes are yours, the future is nobody's.
| company | votes | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. | IBM IBM rebalances its workforce, a verb that means firing people |
2 | |
| 2. | Salesforce Benioff cuts support staff to 5,000, calls it upskilling |
1 | |
| 3. | Klarna Klarna's 700-person AI victory lap quietly reverses |
1 | |
| 4. | OpenAI OpenAI fires humans for doing what OpenAI does |
1 | |
| 5. | Pipedrive Estonia's unicorn trims 267 jobs, keeps the horn |
0 | |
| 6. | BASF BASF grows revenue, shrinks workforce, calls it chemistry |
0 | |
| 7. | Cisco Cisco cuts jobs a third time, calls it a strategy |
0 | |
| 8. | Microsoft Microsoft offers 60,000 people a graceful exit from relevance |
0 | |
| 9. | Amazon Amazon tells staff to use AI more, then cuts 250 jobs |
0 | |
| 10. | Virgin Media O2 Virgin Media O2 cuts a quarter of staff, calls it signal |
0 | |
| 11. | MacPaw MacPaw trims 30 marketers, calls it a structure update |
0 | |
| 12. | Heineken Heineken cuts 6,000 jobs, calls it refreshment |
0 | |
| 13. | Mediacorp MediaCorp reorganizes away from 50 employees |
0 | |
| 14. | Hello Sunshine Hello Sunshine, goodbye half the staff |
0 | |
| 15. | Ubisoft Ubisoft streamlines three German studios by 100 people |
0 | |
| 16. | Citi Citi books $200mn severance line item, calls it efficiency |
0 | |
| 17. | NatWest NatWest finds £420m in savings, 1,400 of them were people |
0 | |
| 18. | Conduent Conduent tolls out 113 jobs for $70 million |
0 | |
| 19. | STT Finnish wire service STT to go dark in March |
0 | |
| 20. | Coolbet Coolbet bets against its own Tallinn workforce |
0 | |
| 21. | home.pl Home.pl finds AI, loses dozens of employees in Szczecin |
0 | |
| 22. | Lao Gan Ma Legendary chili sauce maker may swap hundreds of workers for algorithm |
0 | |
| 23. | ING ING posts 1.85 billion euros, axes 400 jobs anyway |
0 | |
| 24. | Proton Proton's privacy pitch doesn't extend to your job security |
0 | |
| 25. | Critical Software Critical Software finds 200 jobs non-critical |
0 | |
| 26. | Wells Fargo Wells Fargo picks Dec. 26 to deliver 86 pink slips |
0 | |
| 27. | Lenz Lenz trims 75% of staff, calls it strategic clarity |
0 | |
| 28. | Medialivre Medialivre lays out 12 layout artists |
0 | |
| 29. | Unico Unico's selfie-ID firm quadruples output, shrinks the humans behind it |
0 | |
| 30. | Replit Replit fires the developers, hires the vibe |
0 | |
| 31. | Marpai Marpai's call center finds 40% savings, zero coincidences |
0 | |
| 32. | Happen Happen does more loans with a fifth fewer humans |
0 | |
| 33. | Intel Intel trims 67 in Folsom, calls it the first of the year |
0 | |
| 34. | ServiceNow ServiceNow spends $167 million to avoid the word layoffs |
0 | |
| 35. | KT KT's AI takes 1.2 million calls, reports no deaths yet |
0 | |
| 36. | CargoAi CargoAi's bot now answers 70 percent of the mail |
0 | |
| 37. | Elementor Elementor personalizes everything except the layoffs |
0 | |
| 38. | GiG Software GiG Software cuts 25% of staff, keeps its name ironic |
0 | |
| 39. | Dropbox Dropbox drops about 20% of staff, keeps the folders |
0 | |
| 40. | Auroch Digital Critical acclaim, 25% fewer critics of the layoff memo |
0 | |
| 41. | EA EA's AI push leaves staff trust in the respawn queue |
0 | |
| 42. | Gjensidige Gjensidige frees up resources by freeing 40 developers |
0 | |
| 43. | Scripps Scripps cuts 431 jobs, conjures 100 new ones from the ether |
0 | |
| 44. | The Telegraph Telegraph restructures toward an AI future, minus some staff |
0 | |
| 45. | Apple Apple trims 400 jobs, including the AI team building its replacements |
0 | |
| 46. | Cognizant Cognizant merges three engineering units into one smaller headache |
0 | |
| 47. | Innodata Innodata trims 550 jobs training the thing that trimmed them |
0 | |
| 48. | Swedbank Swedbank cuts 100 now, previews sequel starring AI |
0 | |
| 49. | Mediahuis Mediahuis trims 35 jobs, calls it a plan |
0 | |
| 50. | Don't Nod Don't Nod cuts nearly every non-manager, somehow keeps the managers |
0 |